


One Digit

by BayleyWinchester



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Cell Phones, Eventual James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/M, High School, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Texting, They're all 18, Wrong number
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28523298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BayleyWinchester/pseuds/BayleyWinchester
Summary: Remus Lupin's phone number was one digit off James Potter's. Sirius found this out on one random day. He, along with everyone else, found themselves rather pleased with this accidental text. Even if it was kind of an embarrassing message in the first place.~*~ A Wolfstar/Jilly wrong phone number/text fic ~*~
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 19
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first Harry Potter fic/Wolfstar+Jily fic! I've recently fallen in love with them so I figured I may as well write a fic! I hope you like it.

_New Message Between 02045 632454 & 02046 193415_

**(02045 632454)** Mate, if you see P.Minnie be ready. I may have told everyone that it was your idea to paint that message on the court. 'M not sorry tho!

**(02046 193415)** I don't know who this is but you seem like a shitty friend not going to lie.

**(02045 632454)** I am a great friend thanks. I now see that this isn't my friend who I am currently getting in trouble.

**(02046 193415)** you sound like an amazing friend.

**(02045 632454)** to be fair, stranger, it was a joint idea so it is perfectly acceptable for me to react this way. And anyway, he framed me for a joint venture last week.

**(02046 193415)** So it's payback then?

**(02045 632454)** that and a chance to get out of trouble.

**(02046 193415)** of course you had to take the chance then, no sensible person wouldn't.

**(02045 632454)** exactly. Random person on the internet that could be a 50 year old man.

**(02046 193415)** you messaged me. How do I know this isn't some set up by a stalker who's fallen in love with me?

**(02045 632454)** it is that. I love you so fucking much.

**(02046 193415)** I knew it. Fuck!

**(02045 632454)** we'll be together, i'll make sure of it! If I knew your name I'd put it here but ... you know.

**(02046 193415)** I am happy that you don't know my name.

**(02045 632454)** that's so rude?

**(02046 193415)** Sorry, I forgot that I'm supposed to trust everyone I meet on the internet without hesitation. I learnt it in my online-safety class last year.

**(02045 632454)** I forgive you, not everyone can be a genius like me.

**(02046 193415)** So humble

**(02045 632454)** you should meet the friend I just fucked over. He's the most arrogant son of a bitch I know. But his mom's really nice. Speaking off, did you actually have a class last year? Does that mean you're not thirty?

**(02046 193415)** If you think he's arrogant I don't want to meet him. I'm in high school, last year. You?

**(02045 632454)** Same. Although either of us could be lying.

**(02046 193415)** I'm not

**(02045 632454)** Unlike you, I fully trust you. Now send me a picture and all of your banking info

**(02046 193415)** what's the picture for?

**(02045 632454)** hotness level

**(02045 632454)** my friend is back and he's pretty pissed so I'm going to have to go. Hopefully he doesn't kill me.

**(02046 193415)** good luck.

_Message Between Lilly-Pilly & ReRe_

**(ReRe)** Weirdest thing just happened

**(Lilly-Pilly)** I'm intrigued.

**(ReRe)** Some random just messaged me, wrong number, but he was texting his mate to let him know that he was letting him take the fall for some kind of illegal(?) painting???

**(Lilly-Pilly)** I'm intrigued.

**(ReRe)** and then we ,,, bantered?

**(Lilly-Pilly)** I'm really intrigued. Remus, talking to people? Besides me and his mum? I didn't know that could happen.

**(ReRe)** Have I ever told you that you're funny? I hope not.

**(Lilly-Pilly)** You have because I am

**(ReRe)** :/

**(Lilly-Pilly)** don't use that face at me mister

**(ReRe)** he messaged me again

**(Lilly-Pilly)** reply!!

**(ReRe)** I don't know him!

**(Lilly-Pilly)** he sounds funny. Reply or i'm coming over and replying for you.

**(Lilly-Pilly)** Remus is talking to someone!

**(ReRe)** leave me alone

**(Lilly-Pilly)** let me know what he says!

_Message Between 02045 632454 & 02046 193415_

**(02045 632454)** My friend didn't kill me

**(02046 193415)** I'm surprised

**(02045 632454)** Why?

**(02046 193415)** I probably would have killed you.

**(02045 632454)** you scare me. I like it

**(02046 193415)** you confuse me

**(02045 632454)** i have that effect. I need something to call you 'cause my friends keep asking who I'm talking to and 'stranger that i messaged' isn't cutting it.

**(02046 193415)** hang on I'll send you my full name and address in a minute

**(02045 632454)** sounds good. I'm waiting

_Message Between Lilly-Pilly & ReRe_

**(Lilly-Pilly)** What is happening???

**(ReRe)** banter

**(Lilly-Pilly)** hang on im coming over

**(ReRe)** ???

**(Lilly-Pilly)** we live boring lives

**(ReRe)** true

_Message Between 02045 632454 & 02046 193415_

**(02045 632454)** my name is Sirius just so you know

**(02045 632454)** and yes, I am being serious about that.

**(02046 193415)** that's a stupid name but I was named after an ancient brother who died so I can't talk

**(Sirius)** Can I guess?

**(02046 193415)** If you want to

**(Sirius)** is it cheating to get my friends help when they both suck at history?

**(02046 193415)** I'm going to say no

**(Sirius)** james suggested cain and abel

**(02046 193415)** James sounds strange.

**(Sirius)** james is the one i framed

**(Sirius)** so you're not named abel?

**(02046 193415)** no i am not

**(Sirius)** I'm running through all the brothers in my head

**(Sirius)** OH I got one. Remus? Of Rome.

**(02046 193415)** that was the fastest anyone got it

**(Sirius)** Was I right?

**(Remus)** yup

**(Sirius)** well hello Remus, my name is Sirius. Nice to meet you.

**(Remus)** Nice to meet you, Sirius.

**(Sirius)** I look forward to developing this relationship with you.

**(Remus)** I didn't know we were going to develop our relationship but I guess I look forward to it as well

**(Sirius)** Of course we're going to continue. James is a dick and I need a new best friend

**(Remus)** I'm not taking the fall for you

**(Remus)** also I can't say that my bestfriend is a dick because she'd beat me up

**(Sirius)** James can't beat me up because I'm stronger

**(Remus)** Lily is probably stronger than me.

**(Sirius)** I love her already. Maybe i should ask her to beat up james and we can watch

**(Remus)** she would.

**(Remus)** She's here and said that she will so long as James is actually a dick

**(Sirius)** James said that if she's pretty she can do whatever she wants

**(Remus)** Her frown suggests that this will not end well for James

**(Sirius)** perfect.

**(Remus)** you're a really bad friend

**(Sirius)** to james

**(Remus)** are there others?

**(Sirius)** you sound surprised

**(Remus)** should I not be?

**(Sirius)** granted. We also have Peter and then there's a few others who we go to school with. You're kind of right though.

**(Remus)** I can't really talk. I only have Lily

**(Remus)** but she's great so I don't really care

**(Sirius)** well now we can celebrate the fact that we have gained a new friend today

**(Remus)** I have very high standards for my friends

**(Sirius)** what are they? I'll make sure to pass them

**(Remus)** not be a fifty year old stalker OR a scammer

**(Sirius)** high standards

**(Sirius)** luckily I did pass. My standards are low, I'll send the document over. It's just over a hundred pages

**(Remus)** glad to see I'll be fulfilling the role of the funny friend

**(Sirius)** I am in love with you.

**(Remus)** Ew

**(Sirius)** what does that make me?

**(Sirius)** don't say Ew to that!

**(Remus)** the annoying one?

**(Sirius)** that's james. I'll be the hot one.

**(Remus)** what are your credentials for that?

**(Sirius)** tall and shaggy black hair

**(Remus)** I see humility is not one of your defining traits

**(Sirius)** but do I pass?

**(Remus)** obviously

**(Sirius)** I don't doubt that you're just as hot - if not more hot - than I am but you're also funny so you don't get both that's unfair.

**(Remus)** I feel like if I have both I should get both

**(Sirius)** no

**(Remus)** okay

**(Sirius)** what's lily then?

**(Remus)** currently? Glaring at me because I'm talking to you and not going to the shop with her even though she called it a 'miracle' and 'gift from god' that I was talking to someone.

**(Sirius)** what a lady

**(Sirius)** go and be with her

**(Remus)** Ew

**(Sirius)** not in the heterosexual way. I will leave that to James thank you

**(Sirius)** he's arguing that he is Bi so that makes my comment a hate crime

**(Remus)** Lily would say the same thing

**(Sirius)** and you would say...

**(Remus)** smooth

**(Remus)** I would say there isn't a part of me that is heterosexual

**(Sirius)** thank god

**(Sirius)** same fyi

**(Remus)** good to know that we're not homophobic. But i gotta go because I'm scared of Lily

**(Sirius)** have fun

**(Remus)** but you know. Feel free to message again if you want to

**(Sirius)** I will.

**(Remus)** talk to you then :)

_Message Between Black & Potter_

**(Black)** He uses ':)' this

**(Potter)** from the grin on your face you like that

**(Black)** what a fucking cutie

**(Potter)** me or remus?

**(Black)** why the fuck would it be you?

**(Potter)** idk

**(Black)** whatever

**(Black)** when is it appropriate to message him again?

**(Potter)** idk

**(Black)** he's going out with lily so maybe a few hours?

**(Potter)** lily seems fun

**(Black)** but not too late. Maybe I'll message after dinner

**(Potter)** I want lily's number. I'll have to come up with nicknames for her

**(Black)** do my math homework and I'll get it

**(Potter)** I'll do it if i actually get the number

**(Black)** fuck you

**(Black)** fine

**(Potter)** and then in 4-5 years we can have a joint wedding

**(Black)** i'm not as opposed as I should be

**(Potter)** we just have to get the other two on board

**(Potter)** shouldn't be that hard 


	2. Chapter 2

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Sirius)** would you rather 

**(Remus)** ?

**(Sirius)** wanna play?

**(Remus)** why 

**(Sirius)** because we should get to know each other and this was the first thing to come into my head

**(Remus)** let's skip the small chat, what’s your biggest unconscious fear and why?

**(Sirius)** rats 

**(Remus)** that was a joke but I would like to know why

**(Sirius)** I just know those little bastards will ruin my life one day. You?

**(Remus)** the moon. It’s too powerful. I had a pet rat once 

**(Sirius)** at least my fear can bite, yours is a rock

**(Remus)** I will not hesitate to block you 

**(Sirius)** what was your rat called?

**(Remus)** don’t make me say it. 

**(Remus)** I was an odd and lonely child 

**(Sirius)** I need to know now 

**(Sirius)** please, Remus, I have nothing in my life

**(Remus)** wormy 

**(Sirius)** I have so many questions 

**(Remus)** and you will not get a single answer

**(Remus)** anyway, shouldn’t you be in class?

**(Sirius)** I am. Same question to you 

**(Remus)** Lily and I are homeschooled. All I have to go off are movies - and they suggest you’re not allowed on your phone 

**(Sirius)** we will circle back to the homeschool thing but consider this - my family is full of rich pricks and my stupid teacher wants to be friends with them so he will not pull me up on this

**(Remus)** are you being serious?

**(Remus)** wait no

**(Sirius)** Always.

**(Remus)** damn it

**(Sirius)** this luxury does not apply to James or Peter who are currently glaring at me. How long do you think we could go before James steals my phone?

**(Remus)** all i know about James is that he’s committed crimes(?) pranks(?) and his best friend is kind of a dick to him

**(Remus)** within five minutes 

**(Sirius)** correction I am a full dick to him and yeah that seems right

**(Remus)** you don’t talk like you’re from some posh rich family

**(Remus)** ahh either I have offended you or James stole your phone. Hopefully it was the later 

_ Message Between Black & Potter _

**(Black)** asshole

**(Potter)** more context please 

**(Black)** I never replied to remus because of you 

**(Potter)** poor baby 

**(Black)** i hate you 

**(Potter)** have you replied to him since I gave you your phone back?

**(Potter)** an absence of a yes is a no 

**(Black)** fuck you 

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Sirius)** you didn't offend me, James stole my phone. 

**(Sirius)** I do everything in my power to not be like my family 

**(Sirius)** because they suck and I hate them

**(Sirius)** not to dump my family issues onto you 

**(Sirius)** ignore me 

**(Sirius)** Remmmmmmy

_ Message Between Black & Potter _

**(Black)** asshole

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Remus)** are you the kind of rich family that plays polo?

**(Remus)** answer that and I won’t ask any more questions about them

**(Sirius)** yeah we are

**(Remus)** omg

**(Sirius)** is that what you consider high class?

**(Remus)** that and tweed

**(Sirius)** my parents and brother dress like they’re from a victorian gothic novel 

**(Sirius)** and yes

**(Sirius)** I used to 

**(Remus)** I am going to need a childhood picture 

**(Sirius)** no

**(Remus)** Lily and I used to wear matching clothes 

**(Sirius)** why?

**(Remus)** why not? We’re the only kids in our town so we found it funny 

**(Sirius)** you were what

**(Remus)** only kids in our town. It’s a very small town

**(Sirius)** clearly 

**(Remus)** no polo

**(Remus)** very little tweed 

**(Sirius)** a deprived childhood. Is that why you’re homeschooled? 

**(Remus)** pretty much yeah

**(Remus)** we’ve never been to a normal school 

**(Sirius)** to be completely fair our school isn’t normal either. It’s a fancy private boarding school that only prestigious families send their kids to

**(Remus)** I’m only interested in the uniforms 

**(Sirius)** full get up

**(Remus)** incredible 

**(Sirius)** I’m assuming you don’t have a uniform?

**(Remus)** my school is my best friend's dining room

**(Remus)** we do not

**(Sirius)** I wish that was me

**(Sirius)** I’m stuck with a bunch of wankers

**(Sirius)** aside from my friends of course 

**(Remus)** james and peter

**(Sirius)** there’s a few girls who aren’t total stuck up bitches as well. Aside from them the majority of the school are awful. Rich kids you know?

**(Remus)** Sure. I’ve seen movies 

**(Remus)** Lily’s the best

**(Sirius)** speaking of the lovely lady James wants her number 

**(Remus)** why?

**(Sirius)** he’s a freak 

**(Sirius)** a lonely freak 

**(Remus)** I have to ask Lily 

**(Sirius)** do that

**(Sirius)** that makes sense 

_ Message Between Lilly-Pilly & ReRe _

**(ReRe)** Sirius wants to know if he can give your number to a friend 

**(Lilly-Pilly)** How hot is the friend?

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Remus)** how hot is James

**(Sirius)** on a scale from 1-10? A solid 8

**(Sirius)** he says 10 and Peter says 9 

**(Remus)** brief description? 

**(Sirius)** fairly buff from sports, tall, messy black hair and glasses

**(Remus)** i'll let her know

**(Sirius)** james is jumping for joy

**(Sirius)** literally im not fucking around

**(Sirius)** what a weird dude. Tell lily that

**(Remus)** do you share a room?

**(Sirius)** dorm 

**(Remus)** I need more information on that but first Lily

_ Message Between Lilly-Pilly & ReRe _

**(ReRe)** high marks, at least an 8. fairly buff from sports, tall, messy black hair and glasses. 

**(Lilly-Pilly)** 02045 189402

**(ReRe)** I have your number 

**(Lilly-Pilly)** just in case 

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Remus)** 02045 189402

**(Sirius)** I think you just made him cry

**(Sirius)** he keeps going on about fate and soulmates and the like 

**(Remus)** not very high class of him

**(Sirius)** ha ha.

_ New Message Between 02046 193414 & 02045 189402 _

**(02046 193414)** Is this Lily? 

**(02045 189402)** It is. Is this James? 

**(02046 193414)** Yes! I’m really glad I didn’t do a Sirius 

**(02045 189402)** Ahh but then that number would be your fated to be your girlfriend 

**(02046 193414)** Remus told you that?

**(02045 189402)** very cute

**(02046 193414)** I’m glad you think so. A lady on the high street grabbed me and told me when I was about ten that I was fated to marry a wolf-flower. She could see it in my aura or something.

**(02045 189402)** A what?

**(02046 193414)** That’s what I said! But it all makes sense. 

**(02045 189402)** It does?

**(02046 193414)** Remus is the wolf, you’re the flower. 

**(James)** did that message make you fall in love with me?

**(Lily)** I just changed your name. Calm down

**(James)** fate

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Remus)** I’m being ignored

**(Sirius)** Same

**(Remus)** rude bitch 

**(Sirius)** at least we have each other

**(Remus)** don’t you have Peter?

**(Sirius)** yeah but he’s at some kind of studying club or something. He’ll join us after dinner

**(Remus)** what’s dinner like at your fancy school? 

**(Sirius)** fancy 

**(Sirius)** nothing but the best for all the stuck up brats 

**(Remus)** I’m including you in that title 

**(Remus)** silver spoon kids

**(Sirius)** categorically yes but it’s extremely offensive of you to think I’m anything like them 

**(Remus)** incredible. I live on a farm so no silverware 

**(Sirius)** cows?

**(Remus)** chicken and sheep 

**(Sirius)** I want to touch a sheep 

**(Remus)** your fancy upbringing didn’t have any wool?

**(Sirius)** A live sheep 

**(Remus)** I’ll overnight ship one to you 

**(Sirius)** or

**(Remus)** I can send a chicken if you want but that’d be a hassle 

**(Sirius)** that’s not what I meant but how would a chicken be harder than a sheep?

**(Remus)** chickens peck and fight back 

**(Remus)** and I know that’s not what you meant 

**(Sirius)** If you know what I have to wear can I know what you wear?

**(Remus)** Is this where I find out that you’re actually a fuck boy 

**(Sirius)** ugh no 

**(Sirius)** promise I am not. I am generally interested in your daily outfit. 

**(Remus)** Cardigans. Lily gives me shit for it constantly. Cardigans and corduroys

**(Sirius)** oh dear god I am in love

**(Remus)** when you’re not wearing your fancy uniform or your Victorian gothic novel what do rich kids wear? 

**(Sirius)** band t-shirts and jeans and a jacket to piss of my parents 

**(Remus)** that’s how you piss off your parents? 

**(Sirius)** oh no there’s about a hundred things I do daily to piss them off. It’s very funny

**(Sirius)** How do you piss off your parents? 

**(Remus)** read books 

**(Sirius)** I think parents are supposed to encourage that

**(Remus)** My mum does, my dad doesn't. He thinks i'm too unmanly 

**(Sirius)** that’s stupid 

**(Remus)** I’m well aware. 

**(Sirius)** easily pissed off parents club!

**(Remus)** is it just us? 

**(Sirius)** yeah 

**(Sirius)** you’re a genius 

**(Remus)** I know 

**(Remus)** what’s up?

**(Sirius)** a brilliant idea

**(Sirius)** give me a minute. 

_ New Message Between 02046 193414 & 02045 189402 & 02045 632454 & 02046 193415 _

**(Sirius)** a brilliant idea

_ Message Between Group: Two Rich Kids with Messy Black Hair and Two Small Town Kids who Wear Matching Clothes  _

**(Remus)** You’re the ones with the uniforms! 

**(Remus)** Nice to meet you James

**(Lily)** And you Sirius.

**(Lily)** Also what the hell Remus, did you tell him?

**(Remus)** I didn’t know he’d use it against us

**(James)** Nice to meet you Remus

**(Sirius)** a brilliant idea!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoy it :)

_ Message Between Group: Two Rich Kids with Messy Black Hair and Two Small Town Kids who Wear Matching Clothes  _

**(James)** I want to know more about the town you two live in

**(Remus)** Small

**(Lily)** Small

**(Remus)** Boring

**(James)** Are you two actually the only kids there?

**(Lily)** When we were like five there was a family with two teenagers but they left. Aside from them we’re the only people in town under the age of like 25

**(Sirius)** that sounds like hell

**(James)** at least you like each other?

**(Remus)** we do

**(Remus)** it’s odd but we get by 

**(Lily)** every six months we go to this week long camp for other kids who don’t see a lot of other kids

**(Lily)** that’s hell.

**(Sirius)** we should go to that jamesie

**(Remus)** you live with hundreds of other children

**(James)** so we lie

**(Sirius)** if we did come you’d have so much more fun

**(Lily)** anything would be more fun than camp

**(Remus)** most of the kids don’t even know how to talk to other people

**(Sirius)** and I thought boarding school was bad

**(Sirius)** I’m never complaining again 

**(James)** i give it three days

**(Lily)** let us know when he does

**(James)** anything for you Lily Dear

**(Lily)** ew 

**(Sirius)** Ha!

_ Message Between Lilly-Pilly & ReRe _

**(Lilly-Pilly)** he keeps flirting with me

**(ReRe)** and you see this as a problem 

**(Lilly-Pilly)** he doesn’t even know me! 

**(Lilly-Pilly)** it’s weird 

**(ReRe)** i guess 

**(Lilly-Pilly)** does Sirius flirt with you?

**(Lilly-Pilly)** wait don’t answer that he could be as obvious as hell and you would have no idea

**(ReRe)** fuck off

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Remus)** How’s fancy school?

**(Sirius)** Shitty. We’re in history right now and the teacher is the worst. Some old guy. I'm pretty sure he was actually there when all of this happened 

**(Remus)** sounds fun

**(Sirius)** probably interest you though. The bookworm 

**(Remus)** history is my favourite subject

**(Sirius)** i knew it

**(Remus)** what’s yours? 

**(Sirius)** we do fencing lessons here and i like those 

**(Remus)** fencing???? 

**(Sirius)** they’re like swords but shitty 

**(Remus)** that’s peak richness 

**(Sirius)** whats your extra-curricular lessons then?

**(Remus)** working with my dad 

**(Sirius)** like on the farm? Feeding the chickens and shit 

**(Remus)** yeah? I feed the chickens every morning and collect their eggs

**(Sirius)** that’s incredible

**(Sirius)** I want to feed chickens 

**(Remus)** I’ll be happy to swap. I’ll go to your posh school and learn polo and ballroom dancing and you can come and feed the chickens and mend some fences 

**(Sirius)** deal

**(Remus)** you actually want to feed chickens?

**(Sirius)** the closest I've ever been to the simple life is when we go to the family manor once a year and we have like twenty staff there. No chickens to feed

**(Remus)** poor deprived child you

**(Sirius)** it’s truly terrible. 

_ Message Between Group: Two Rich Kids with Messy Black Hair and Two Small Town Kids who Wear Matching Clothes  _

**(Sirius)** jamsie we’re going to go and work on remus’s farm

**(James)** cool

**(Lily)** what?

**(Remus)** rich kids

**(Lily)** you wouldn’t last a day 

**(Sirius)** I would

**(James)** do we milk cows?

**(Lily)** do you know how to?

**(James)** no idea

**(Sirius)** wouldn’t even know where to start BUT i know that neither of you have cows so

**(Remus)** I milk my neighbor's cow three times a week.

**(James)** I’m picturing a small little village where there’s a market everyday and you make your own soap and trade your milk for corn

**(Lily)** are we wearing straw hats and prairie dresses?

**(James)** yeah pretty much 

**(Sirius)** remus has his cardigan and corduroys tho

**(Remus)** glad you remember that 

**(Sirius)** of course I do!

**(Sirius)** That picture is never leaving my mind 

**(James)** If I find you wanking it to a picture of a cardigan I’m reporting you to P.Minnie for emotional distress 

**(Lily)** wtf

**(Remus)** what the fuck?

**(Sirius)** I’m not going to do that you sick perv 

**(James)** wouldn’t put it past you 

**(Remus)** many questions but i want none of them answered so 

**(Lily)** P.Minne?

**(James)** Professor McGonagall. She’s our head of house 

**(Remus)** the one Sirius was running away from?

**(James)** yeah 

**(Lily)** would she want to know what sirius was wanking to?

**(Remus)** I’m leaving you two to it 

**(James)** no i would undoubtedly get a detention but so would sirius so 

**(Lily)** it’s worth it 

**(James)** my kind of gal 

**(Lily)** nope

_ Message Between Black & Potter _

**(Black)** fuck you

**(Black)** i hate you so much

**(Black)** asshole

**(Black)** motherfucker 

**(Black)** you git

**(Potter)** i feel like 80% of the messages you send me are hate messages 

**(Black)** I love you James

**(Potter)** <3

**(Black)** you’re an absolute wanker talking about me wanking like that 

**(Potter)** letting remus know that you’re serious 

**(Potter)** ha

**(Black)** it’s not funny because I’m angry 

**(Potter)** don’t worry about it

**(Potter)** look how badly i did with Lily 

**(Black)** true

**(Potter)** you’re supposed to say ‘it’s not that bad!’ and ‘its all in your head!’

**(Black)** best friends don’t lie to each other 

**(Potter)** wanker

**(Black)** tosser 

_ Message Between Lilly-Pilly & ReRe _

**(Lilly-Pilly)** they’re so strange

**(ReRe)** right weirdos the pair of them

**(Lilly-Pilly)** and fyi Sirius is flirting 

**(Lilly-Pilly)** badly but

**(ReRe)** if we want to talk about bad flirting 

**(Lilly-Pilly)** god

**(Lilly-Pilly)** anyway I’m done my chores so come over im bored

**(ReRe)** I’ll bring some cake my mum made

**(Lilly-Pilly)** tell Hope i love her 

_ Message Between Group: Two Rich Kids with Messy Black Hair and Two Small Town Kids who Wear Matching Clothes  _

**(Sirius)** I’m so boredddddd what you are guys all up to

**(Lily)** enjoying a lovely cake 

**(Remus)** it is very nice

**(Sirius)** im bloody stuck in detention 

**(James)** should have run faster

**(Sirius)** this git ran away and left me to take the fall

**(Lily)** Remus’s mum made the cake for us

**(Sirius)** wish i was eating Remus’s mum’s cake and not here

**(James)** same and I’m in bed 

**(Remus)** It’s 7pm?

**(James)** Siri is gone what the fuck am I supposed to do?

**(Lily)** hang out with your other friends?

**(James)** consider this - 

**(James)** i could hang out with you instead 

**(Lily)** smooth 

**(James)** i was being honest 

**(James)** you two are funny and good company 

**(Remus)** even over the phone?

**(James)** yeah

**(Lily)** sweet

_ Message Between Black & Potter _

**(Potter)** fuck yeah 

**(Black)** whipped 

**(Potter)** fuck off then

**(Potter)** run back to Remus

**(Black)** I will thank you.

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Sirius)** Can I ask why you’re eating cake? 

**(Remus)** Sure

**(Sirius)** Why are you eating cake? 

**(Remus)** none of your business 

**(Sirius)** fuck off

**(Sirius)** I wanna know if it’s a birthday or something and we’ve missed it

**(Remus)** it isn’t my mum had some bananas left over and made a banana cake. She’s a very good baker

**(Remus)** I’ll let you know our birthdays in advance 

**(Sirius)** right now?

**(Remus)** No. still not 1000% convinced that you’re not trying to steal my identity to commit a serious of heinous crimes

**(Remus)** 100% not 1000%

**(Sirius)** so you’re 999% sure that I’m not?

**(Remus)** A solid 88% at this point 

**(Sirius)** not bad not bad 

**(Remus)** A pass

**(Sirius)** Once I get to a 100% what happens? 

**(Remus)** You get knighted. 

**(Remus)** what the fuck kinda question is that? I don’t know 

**(Sirius)** Damn I was looking forward to getting knighted 

**(Remus)** shame 

**(Remus)** I’ll guess you’ll just have to settle for a, idk, facetime

**(Sirius)** no way a facetime happens at 95% to try and boost to 100%

**(Sirius)** at 100% i meet you in person 

**(Remus)** only if I get to bring pepper spray and Lily with me

**(Sirius)** Protection?

**(Remus)** incase you’re crazy, or if you’re slightly annoying 

**(Sirius)** I’ll have to be as charming as I can be then

**(Remus)** looks like I’ll get to use my pepper spray again 

**(Sirius)** again?

**(Remus)** hmm that’s a 92% sure story sorry 

**(Sirius)** damn I have to level up, huh?

**(Remus)** if you send me a bar of chocolate then you’ll automatically be a 100%

**(Remus)** our town ran out yesterday and we don’t get a new shipment until the weekend

**(Remus)** I may die

**(Sirius)** what the fuck

**(Sirius)** you ran out

**(Remus)** it’s pretty common

**(Remus)** we could drive to the nearest town but my parents won’t do that for just a bar of chocolate :/

**(Sirius)** you have to understand that every time you mention something about your life the image in my head grows

**(Remus)** what? The baking wife and farmer husband with their little country son? 

**(Sirius)** Is that not what it is? 

**(Remus)** I suppose I can’t give you to much shit 

**(Remus)** it is pretty much the case

**(Sirius)** I’m surprised you aren’t finding a way to give me shit for it 

**(Remus)** I promise that I will endeavor to try 

**(Sirius)** Ha ha

**(Sirius)** I’m glad that you will 

_ Message Between Black & Potter _

**(Black)** fuck im gone for this farmer boy 

**(Potter)** i can see that 

_ Message Between Sirius & Remus _

**(Sirius)** Is coming up with something hard?

**(Sirius)** Can’t give me shit for it 

**(Sirius)** Remus?

_ Message Between Black & Potter _

**(Black)** Has Lily messaged you in the last hour?

**(Potter)** No, i was just about to message you and ask if Remus had 

**(Black)** He hasn’t 

_ Message Between Group: Two Rich Kids with Messy Black Hair and Two Small Town Kids who Wear Matching Clothes  _

**(Lily)** Sorry guys. We’ll be back soon. 

**(Sirius)** Is everything okay? 

**(James)** Lily? 

**(Lily)** Can’t talk for a few days. Everything will be fine. See you soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...


End file.
